SnowFall Tears
by HarvestGirl10
Summary: Hikari has been avoiding this. She couldn't bear the pain and suffering she would have to endure, but she will face it. If it was for Him then she will have to. Christmas morning was never this painful....Drabble for Drabble Contest! Ikarishipping!


Hey everyone

Hey everyone! This is my drabble for L'il Miss Yuki's drabble contest for Ikarishipping day (June 28! You can thank the members of the SPPF Ikarishipping forum for that) I hope that you guys like this fic. It just came to me one day and I was like "Whoa, I have to write that." So ta-dah! Here it is!

I decided to use the Japanese names in this one for the first time, yup, it's a milestone for me, lol.

Oh, and for those who read "A Precious Bond", you'll get a small surprise!

_**I DO NOT OWN POKEMON OR ITS CHARACTERS. **_

Enjoy! It's pretty long for a drabble but that's just how I do things.

* * *

It was Christmas morning.

A time when families come together, share tales, give gifts, and be merry. A time when the sweet lyrical voices of carolers were heard in the distance. A time when even the greediest of people learn to share. A time when naughty children behave. A time when lovers come to celebrate their true love.

A time full of Laughter, Happiness, Love, and Warmth.

Except...

Alone in a snow-white cemetery, a young woman knelt down before a crippling old tombstone, a blank expression on her face. Icy white snow gently cascaded down to the earth, falling on both the woman and the stone...

There was no Laughter, no Happiness, no Warmth...

However, she did not seem to mind or notice.

The bitter cold wind tugged harshly at her dark midnight-blue hair, she seized her long black coat and held it tight against herself until the wind faded. She shut her eyes tight, holding on to her grasp.

Once the wind stopped, she released her grip on her coat and looked down at her hands.

In her porcelain white hands was a small wreath of holly with sweet red decorative berries scattered across it. The young woman placed it against the stone so carefully, so lovingly...

She inched a few ways back before her cerulean eyes softened. Snow had covered the stone...

With her bare hands, she wiped away the white blanket, wincing.

It was so cold...

"Merry Christmas..." She murmured towards the stone, her voice shaking.

It has been so long...

"I know I haven't visited here in a while...do you still remember my name?" She tried to joke but her voice was weak and tearful.

"It was...just too hard...to visit..." Hikari whispered, tears finally streaking off her cheeks. "But I'm here..."

The wind blew once more, but softer this time. Hikari readjusted the wreath, making sure it looked perfect.

Just for _him._

"I've been doing well...We all have been doing well...but yet we all still miss you...I missed you..." She said, wiping her eyes.

"I became a master coordinator..." Hikari began as she hesitated, her voice a little less depressing, as if she was trying to brighten up the mood, "I kept training over and over, I never gave up..."

"And whenever I tried to give up..." Her voice began to crack,

"I remembered how you called me 'Weak' and 'Pathetic'...when I was young..."

"You kept me going..." She softly laughed bitterly to herself, "I wanted to prove you wrong...so bad..."

Snowflakes gently danced and twirled in the breeze, settling upon Hikari. Her midnight blue hair was now covered in specks of snow...

Tears streamed down her face, but yet she did not cry. She would not allow herself to cry.

Tears were a sign of weakness, and she could not be weak.

Not in front of _him_.

"I remembered the times when you beat me; hit me, the scars you gave me..." She began again once she took control of her tears, "They're beginning to fade now..." She lightly touched her arm, "But...would it be a sin if I didn't want them to fade?"

Hikari could feel her voice choke up; she could feel the tears processing in the back of her eyes. She shook her head but the pain would not go away. Giving in to her angst, she flung her head into her hands and cried.

And cried.

_And cried. _

"I don't want them to go away..." She whispered through her crying, "They remind me of you...they keep me content at night..."

She looked up from her hands. "W-Why did you have to go?! _Huh?!_" She wept as she pounded her fists before the grave, digging her numb fingers into the snow.

"Why..." She cried, unable to stop the flow of her tears.

And after about a good minute, she tearfully looked up at the grave. She straightened out her jacket and wiped her eyes...

"I'm sorry...You wouldn't want me to cry...You'll just call me 'Troublesome' again, and kick me away..." She shut her eyes tight, trying her best for painful memories not to resurface. "Was I...a burden to you?" She whimpered.

The tombstone just sat there, Hikari whimpered even more.

"Is that why you left...?" She murmured, her eyes understanding.

There was another long silence...

"Did I tell you...?" She said, recollecting herself, trying to break the silence. She couldn't bear the stillness of the cemetery.

"That I gave birth to a daughter...?"

White snowflakes blanketed the holly Hikari placed against the grave, oblivious to the pain around it.

"I named her Sakura...She's so sweet..." Hikari laughed lightly, her voice still tearful. "She just turned five..."

"Oh, she looks so much like you, she acts so much like you..." Hikari began, stroking the grave. "It's not fair…she deserves to meet you…" She stifled a small cry.

"Sometimes...she even asks about you...at night." Hikari paused, it was too hard...

"She wants to know why you don't visit us...she wants to know if you're happy without us." Hikari wiped her eyes once more, "I tell her you're very happy because we are happy, I tell her that you're her guardian angel...just for her..." Hikari once again broke down, tears flooding out of her eyes.

"She looks at your picture every night and says she can't wait until she goes to heaven to be with you." She looked up at the grave, "It hurts me...all she wants is to see you...and it hurts when she sometimes sees me cry at night…"

Hikari finally stood up, looking down at the grave remorsefully. "I worked so hard for you...and you left me...I try hard not to cry...but I can't promise you any longer..." Hikari put a hand to her face, trying her best for him not to see her tears.

"Mommy!" A voice cried out from behind her. Hikari whipped her head up and faced towards the direction of the voice. A small little girl came running towards her, throughout all the graves. The small girl about the age of five happily ran towards Hikari, her bright cerulean eyes shining, her purple hair slightly tangled. She ran into Hikari's arms, which made Hikari smile.

Hikari picked up her daughter and held her in her arms. She wiped away the snow that had fallen on top of her daughter's purple hair and she looked into her daughter's bright cerulean eyes...

"Mommy...why are you sad? It's Christmas!" She giggled as she flung her hands in the air, Hikari smiled through her tears.

"Can I make you feel better?" Sakura asked, Hikari couldn't help but hug her daughter tight. She set her daughter down and knelt down before her, refastening her buttons on her white winter coat that had come undone.

"You don't need to do anything Sakura, Mommy is feeling much better now." Hikari faked a smile, which caused her daughter to smile genuinely. Then Hikari kissed one of Sakura's pink mittened hands, which cause Sakura to giggle.

Sakura then looked around and walked closer to her mother, burying her face in her mother's coat. "I don't like it here...can we go now?" Her muffled voice asked, Hikari rubbed her back, comforting her.

"Yes, in a moment." Hikari stared at the grave once more, "Look Sakura," Sakura poked her head up and looked at the grave her mother was pointing at.

"What is it?" She asked innocently as she approached it. She put her hands against it and felt the stone, trying to make sense out of it. Just like a five year old would do.

"It's him..." Her mother whispered towards her, Sakura's face lit up! The small girl turned back towards the stone, excited.

Hikari smiled sadly at the scene as she stood up, putting her arms across herself for support. Silent tears still streamed off her face.

Her daughter...looked so happy with the grave...

If only he could actually be with her...

_'Why did you have to leave me?'_ Hikari thought has she tried to hold back tears, for her daughter.

She put her head back in her hands, crying. She was happy that her bangs flew over her face; she didn't want Sakura to see her cry...

Suddenly though, warm assuring arms wrapped around Hikari's waist. She did not need to turn around...she knew who it was...

The person rested his head against her shoulder, Hikari leaned her head towards his.

"Why did you make me come here...?" She whispered, her eyes finally drying from all the tears.

"Because...I'm not going to let you bottle up all your emotions, like I did." Her husband whispered back. They both looked up at their daughter, who was having her own conversation with the tombstone, saying things like "I'm Sakura!" and "What's your favorite color?".

"They would have got along well..." Hikari sadly smiled. Her husband smirked.

"But they already are." He said, Hikari turned to face her husband. Like Sakura, his purple hair was already covered with snow; Hikari could not help but slightly laugh.

"What's so funny now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think I've ever seen you covered in so much snow before, Shinji." Hikari giggled as she wiped some snow away from her husband's face. Her husband smirked once more but seizing her arm and pulling her in for a tender kiss. She warmly accepted it.

_She needed it. _

The kiss was suddenly broken when both parents felt a tug at their coats.

"I'm done talking to Grandpa now." Sakura said sweetly, Shinji picked his daughter up.

"I'll take her back to the car while you finish." He said, Hikari slowly nodded, the depressing mood returning.

She watched Shinji and Sakura leave for the car they parked over near the exit, and once they got safely inside, she turned back towards the grave.

"Father..." Hikari murmured as she knelt back down once more, painful memories flooding back.

* * *

"_Ha! You…a master coordinator?! Do not make me laugh! How could a weak and pathetic girl like you become something so great?" Her father mocked at the dinner table as a small girl, around the age of five, with midnight blue hair tried to restrain tears as she picked at her food._

* * *

"_**AH!"**__ A 7-year-old Hikari shrilled as she was knocked against the wall, tears streaming from her bruised face. _

"_HOW COULD YOU BE FAILING COORDINATING CLASS IN TRAINER SCHOOL?!" Her father boomed over her, her mother just sat in the corner, looking sadly away as she slowly mixed the stew on the stove. Hikari couldn't fight back, she did not want too…_

_She just laid there and took the beatings, if it made him happy…._

* * *

"I love you..." Hikari hugged the small grave one final time before standing back up and heading back towards her family.

Christmas.

That day for her, there was no Laughter, no Happiness, no Warmth...

But there was Love.

And that was all she would need.

* * *

Done! So, where you all shocked? Did you all think that it was Shinji who died? If so, then please say so! I'd love to hear what you all think! Even though it turned out to be her father, I still think its ikarishipping because the readers think its Shinji all the way to the end, and even there is ikarishipping!

And yes, I used my OC Sakura in this fic. I guess it's hard for me to write about their kid without thinking of her, I still have my brain set on A Precious Bond so I just used her again. Hope you guys don't mind.

I was trying to give off that Hikari had a abusive father and I was going to add more flashbacks but then that would take away the ikarishipping element and turn this more into a family story, so you can see why.

I hope I do well in the drabble contest! And I hope you liked it L'il Miss Yuki!

Please Review! And until next time!


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